Ringtones of the (definitely not) Rich and (slightly) Famous

Ringtones define a relationship.  What you designate as the official fanfare of an incoming call announces the conscious (or unconscious) reflection of your interpersonal connections.

Through some clever sleuth-work, your PLB team has identified, deduced, or simply guessed the ringtones currently employed by faculty members in the department.

1) Marlene Behrmann’s ringtone on David Plaut’s phone: When A Man Love’s A Woman, Michael Bolton.


* We here at the PLB celebrate Michael Bolton’s entire catalogue.

2) Ken Kotovsky’s ringtone for anyone: Christmas Song, The Chipmunks 

3) Lynne Reder’s ringtone on John Anderson’s phone: She Blinded Me With Science, Thomas Dolby

4) Anna Fisher’s ringtone on Ken Koedinger’s phone: From Russia With Love

5) David Rakison’s ringtone for himself: Baby Love, The Supremes

6) Tim Verstynen’s ringtone on Sheldon Cohen’s phone: Suit & Tie, Justin Timberlake

7) Any post-doc’s ringtone on any faculty member’s phone: Get a Job, The Silhouettes

8) Any faculty member on any post-doc’s phone: Chain Gang, Sam Cooke

9)  Erik Thiessen’s, David’ Rakison’s, and John Opfer’s ringtone for each other: The Three Amigos Salute.

10)  Any faculty member on Mike Scheier’s phone: Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye, Steam

Guest Post: Introducing…Dr. Tim MacFarlstynen

Good afternoon readers.  Today’s entry is a guest post from an anonymous contributor (and does not in any way reflect the opinions of the PLB editorial board).

The once-great-but-now-relegated-to-blog PLB recently published an article comparing the eloquent statements made by endearing faculty member David Rakison to those of a blubbering cartoon baby called Stewie. According to the latest readership poll, some found this article to be charming (“I nearly choked on my latke” exclaimed Ken Kotovsky) while others found it to be disturbing (“I always thought Rakison WAS Stewie. Why else the diaper?” noted Sheldon Cohen). Still others had no idea that the PLB has moved to a blog format, and you’re probably one of them if you’re not reading this article.

However, this reader was intrigued by the revelation that the new PLB editor was so knowledgeable about the many things that Stewie had said over the years, despite the fact that he doesn’t even own a TV (sad, but true). Then, on February 24th at 8.31 it all made sense. This informed reader tuned in to watch the beginning of the Academy Awards and lo-and-behold there was our beloved new assistant professor Tim Verstynen – working under his nom-de-plum Seth MacFarlane – giving the sadly unfunny opening monologue. What? Eh? How could this be? Just look at the two pictures below to see the uncanny facial similarity of these two men. Separated at birth? Quite probably. Yes, Tim uses a disguise when he is doing his “brain(y) research” work, but let’s be honest: those glasses aren’t fooling anyone. But there are a whole plethora of other reasons why it’s clear that Tim and Seth are one and the same person.

1) You never see them both in the same place at the same time
2) They are both into Zombies. After all, how do you think Ted came to life?
3) They both smile in pictures
4) One of them tells crude jokes about sex, and so does Seth.
5) Hmmm. That’s about it actually.
6) No wait. What about the fact that they both wear shirts?
7) I’m afraid that’s not going to cut it at all.

So, there you have it. Definitive evidence (p <.37) that Tim and Seth MacFarlane are one and the same person: Assistant Professor by day, zombie researcher by night, and actor, producer, and director around teatime.